- When incapacitated, you should be able to use your grenade, but doing so makes you unrevivable and kills you.
If the game is supposed to be pretending to be a film, it blatantly needs heroic "GO ON WITHOUT ME, I'LL HOLD THEM OFF" moments where someone who is clearly done for smashes a molotov on the ground next to them or holds up a beeping grenade to draw the hoard away from the other 3.
- Only 4 medkits in versus mode.
It is almost pointless to do anything as an infected in versus, as barring some fluke of circumstance you're only going to do a handful of points of damage at a time, and even if you spend life after life hammering the same survivor and getting them low, all your hard work is undone with 5 seconds of medpacking. You shouldn't be healing 20 points of damage simply because your team has so many medkits it's a waste not to.
- Similarly, infected should do a bit more damage.
It is very demoralising to get a devastating hit in on someone, pinning them to the ground for ages only to get shot away, check your console and see you did 10 damage. You shouldn't be able to incapacitate someone with one hit, but if they rambo and you pick them off, they should feel the pain. Playing as Survivors should actually be about surviving, not maxing out your end of level health bonus.
- Autoshotgun needs nerfing.
It is pointless to carry anything else in versus mode.

- Melee should become less effective the more crowded you are.
Four people hiding in a cupboard would have no room to swing their guns, nor would someone surrounded on all sides by zombies. It's far too strong, especially in versus mode as it counters everything. Hunter pounce, smoker tongue and boomer are all easily countered with melee attacks.
- You should be able to disengage yourself from an attack when you're a hunter or smoker.
- Smoker needs a buff.
You can't really do anything against a good team as your target will get melee'd before they're dragged any distance, the dragging takes ages and does no damage, and the cooldown on the tongue attack is so long it would probably be quicker to die and respawn.
- Molotovs on tanks should do damage over time, not start an off-screen 30 second death timer.
- Absolutely no spawning a tank pre-molotov for one versus team, and post-molotov for the second one.
- You should get points based on your play as infected as well as survivor... some points and modifiers would perhaps help counter the randomness of the director and make huge point victories less dependent on "tank spawns in huge open area with molotovs" vs "tank spawns outside the saferoom at the start".
- Some sort of "Rematch" button or vote at the end of a game so once you've found a server that isn't being hosted on one of those "one laptop per child" machines in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, you can stay there and keep playing.
That'll do me... now you go.